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diff --git a/Endtime.html b/Endtime.html new file mode 100644 index 0000000..9b9e6b6 --- /dev/null +++ b/Endtime.html @@ -0,0 +1,54 @@ +<h1> Endtime signals and fighting them </h1> +<p> +I have created this website with an intention to make it a technical blog. Something about the stuff I genuinely care about. +Don't get it twisted, I still think that is a way to go - it would be dumb of me not to try and share info about the thing I do +almost constantly for hours almost every day. For example, recently I finally got to dockerize this exact website because I got +tired of ot crashing on internet restart. I also finally got to refator an old ass project I've worked on in 2024, got to start a +passion project I've wanted to get to for a long time (and I even got to make the GUI API I was looking for for a long time). In a +short period of time I'll get to play with and develop for VR gear and you gotta be sure I'll write about that. But while all that +is great in itself there is an everlasting feeling deep inside that keeps growing louder and louder with each day. Also now I +understand why so many blogs end up containing personal thoughts - there is nowhere else to leave this mess of confusing ideas and +feelings at. +</p> +<p> +Damn, I will regret posting it, will I? +</p> +<h2> Why bother? </h2> +<p> +A lot of times it feels that whatever we come up with doesn't matter. The end is nigh - and why bother trying to do anything if it +won't matter in the end? I've been catching a lot of those thoughts recently. Whatever I do it feels like I'm at the end of a road +- I can try to change something but I've hit the celling. There is nothing left to achieve and even if there is I don't have it in +me to do it. Why learning something if folks will just vibecode it, get the cash and call it a day regardless of whether the end +result is of a decent quality or not? Why should I try to make up my life if I'll probably end up either dead somewhere on a battlefield +(for legal reasont I will not elaborate on that) or broke while the rich will get richer? Why trying to build up connections and +friendships if the iron curtain 2.0 is coming closer with each law? Why even bother trying to follow your dreams if you know all +you will end up with is a buch of nothingness? +</p> +<p> +I've thought a lot about the source of those feelings. After all, I can't be the only one who feels that way. Here are some ideas I +came up with: +</p> +<ul> + <li> I'm becoming old and grumpy </li> + <li> The propaganda is finally taking an effect </li> + <li> Constant online presense (That migth be it ngl) </li> + <li> The world really is going to shitters </li> +</ul> +<p> +I've also seen a lot of ideas and theories about that. Some claim that human brain wasn't built to take in such an amount of information +and those of us who are caught up in doomscrolling cycle are genuinelly going insane. And I'm inclined to belive it - those of us who exist +in real life more seem generally happier. Or are they just wearing a mask? I honestly have no idea. The others are speaking that the world +is going wrong and while there is some truth to that I still am inclined to believe that we are not screwed and everything will be fine. +</p> +<p> +And while we can probably ponder about the source of that mental tiredness forever there are things that need to be done. The best +idea I came up with is to turn off your brain and live on an autopilot. I still get shit done with a decent speed and the only thing +that is gone is a genuine will to do it all. That will probably pay out in the end - the self-improvement cycle must go on whether one +wants it or not. It just becomes harder and harder to pull out for some reason. +</p> +<h2> Why did I write this? </h2> +<p> +I honestly don't know why I wrote this. To tell someone about it? To use this article as an improvized rubber duck to try and get to the +core of those emotions? To finally do something with this blog aside from the one published article and close to a dozen ones I never finished? +I don't know. Neither do I know if this one will be up for long if at all. +</p> |